Tonight I let fear take a hold of me.
I haven't worked out yet exactly why it happened. I struggled all night getting the confidence to walk up and say anything.
And my results for the night show this quite clearly.
After spending an hour letting the fear get the best of me, I head over to DrLove for some help. I know that he will push into sets and hope that this get the momentum going.
And he does.
By the end of the night I get in 4 approaches.
The first one was a blow out. I used the same successful direct opener from last week, but it totally bombed. This was due to my body language. I walked up conveying a neediness.
The next approach, was a bit better but my voice was shaky. They were very nice but they just wanted to chat with each other. "Please meeting you, have a good night"
Just before my 3rd set, my wing Pirate relates a story of when he struggled while out at the Opera Bar. To get into state he started to ask people for the time. Using this I do the same to get me into a more approachable state.
The 3rd approach was a success. "Hey, I'm just about to head home and was wondering if I could borrow your scarf?" Credit to Pirate for this opener as he was coming up with some great situational openers during the night.
The Japanese girl I approached was very friendly. Before I know it, she takes her scarf and puts it around my neck. This is great. We start chatting. A little while in I start panicking about how to keep the conversation going so I signal for my wing Pirate to come in.
After a little bit of chit chat, I take the girl I approached, outside for a smoke, and Pirate takes the other girl upstairs for a dance. While outside chatting I realise that communicating with this Japanese girl is going to be challenging because of the language barrier. I make a big effort to push the conversation whenever I think its going to stall.
I found my wing Pirate on the dance floor. We stayed for a while and then leave to get more practice in.
My 4th approach was another blow out. I walked up and said "You guys looked bored!" As the words are out of my head I can hear how lame they are. I'm just another chode trying to met these girls. I get successfully blown out.
Sticking Points
• Letting fear get the best of me.
• Body language and voice mirrored my lack of confidence.
Lessons Learnt
• The body shows quite clearly how I feel inside. Feel confident and it will show.
• Need to develop a process to build up my confidence before heading out.
• Open a set as soon as I walk in.
• I can't walk up and say "You guys looked bored!" as an opener. Its lame.
Good Points
• I asked for help when I needed it.
• Got another 3 rejections.
Goals To Improve
• Spend time working on my inner game.
• Open a set as soon as I walk into a place.
• Find a conversational piece.
• Practice observation skills
1 comment:
remember mate, its never what you say as an opener, its how you say it, I have used "you guys look bored" as an opener in the past quite sucsessfully.
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