I'm writing this in retrospective. Because I can't get this girl out of my head.
So on Sat I went to a club with HBFlower. Just the two of us.
Had a really great time. So did she.
We spent most of the night talking. Getting to know each other. Occasionally we got up to dance when the DJ played some good music.
I learnt a lot about her and now I can't get her out of my head. I think she is amazing.
For the last 2 weeks we have been texting and chatting on the phone. I know there is interest there. She has even asked a female friend of mine what the status of our relationship was. I mean she came out with me on Sat by herself.
During the week I spent time defining the type of girl I am after. Well... she hits every single one. Oh except whether she can cook. I haven't asked her about that yet.
We also talked about what she was looking for in a guy. The funny thing is that every quality she mentioned, I am.
But she is not like the girls I am normally attracted too. She confesses to be shy, which I can see and I can tell she is a good girl. Not the type of girl I used to. I've normally dated the naughty but nice girls. Girls with a bit of an edge. This girl seems so good natured. And for some reason I find this attractive.
During the night we talked about whether we were single and available. There was some tension here, which I think was good. But I was a little bit nervous and really didn't go anywhere with it.
So now its been 3 days and I can't get her out of my head. I'm starting to fall back into my old self. Where I'm anxious and worried about saying or doing the wrong thing. Hopefully by writing this down I can get a better grip of things.
Valentine's day is this week and I should use this to my advantage. She'll be in my class Thur night which is a perfect opportunity to be proactive.
Next action I am going to take is:
• Use kino to build some more comfort. In retrospect, I used very little touching while we talked. Probably because I was a little bit nervous. But I guess the dancing was enough.
• Ask her for a Valentine's kiss (said with a cheeky smile). Of course I'm just asking for a peck on the cheek but will use the ambiguity to have some fun.
• Make a statement of interest.
The last one is the most critical. I have to let her know in some way that I'm clearly interested in her. I don't know how I'm going to do this exactly yet. I remember my ex approaching the subject by making the statement:
"There is definitely something there between us. I just had to say it because I don't know what to do about it."
I was thinking about using this. But with a more authoritative voice.
??
As I've never dated someone like her, I'm not sure the best way to proceed with this statement. But I'll find out.
Be good.
Cas
2 comments:
Hey mate, it sounds like you're doing well. Have you kissed her yet? I think that needs to happen soon as you may be inadvertinly putting yourself in the friends zone. you could use Mystery's kiss close technique "would you like to kiss me?" or just during one of your deeper conversations just pause for a moment and hold her eye contact, if she keeps looking at you (about 3-5 seconds) then just lean in and go for the kiss. its scary as fuck the first time you do it. but trust me, take the lead. if you're being the gentleman that i know you are then she is wanting it. one thing i said once which seemed to work was i looked at her and said "i hate first dates. always so awkeward" if she has a nervour laugh or whatever just lean in and kiss her. once again, scary as all hell, especially if you are having strong feelings for the woman. can i say stuff kino, kiss the girl.
D
Hey man,
Thanks for the advice.
No we haven’t kissed yet. So I am worried a little about getting in the friends zone. But not too worried.
Besides Sat, I haven’t really spent time with her alone. Making it a little bit difficult to be in a position where I can go for a kiss.
Sat, onto itself, was just two people going to a dance club. So the vibe wasn’t a date. And I was having such a good time with her that I totally forgot about taking things to the next level.
I have to disagree with “stuff kino”. In my experience, kino is so important to how a kiss is received. I’ve used Mystery’s kiss close technique, both with and without kino.
Using kino makes the girl feel comfortable with your touch. Hence, making the kiss better received. Otherwise if you go in for a kiss without it, it kind of feels out of place, almost incongruent with the interaction. One of my first success’s with Mystery’s technique came because I had purposely applied kino and the vibe to kiss was there. (Which is what I’m hoping to achieve.) I already knew the answer before I even asked it.
Another time I tried it without, the kiss felt like it just came out of nowhere. She reciprocated but I didn’t manage to get any further interest from her.
What I need to do, I think, no I’m pretty sure, is:
(1) Make the statement of interest so that I can
(2) Invite her out so its just the 2 of us alone (make feel like a date)
(3) Apply kino so that she feels comfortable with me, that’ll allow me to kiss her
On top of that, just treat her like my girlfriend already.
Does that make sense? Hope so. If it doesn’t let me know. If you disagree let me know. I’m open to different thoughts.
Thanks again for advice. Helped me stay focused.
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