Week 5: Goals

1.       Learn how to qualify

2.       Qualify 1 of the girls I’m interested in

3.       Learn how to escalate kino

4.       Practice escalating kino on 1 girl

5.       Write up self-image change

6.       Find the birthdays of 2 service industry workers

7.       Listen to CD 2 of David Wygant

Week 4 Result

Interesting week.

 

I managed to:

 

1.       Get my first phone number for the year

2.       Invite said girl out

3.       Entertain 2 girls I am interested in at the same time

4.       Decide and pursue 3 girls

5.       Have no residual effect from bumping into my ex

6.       Listen to David Wygant

7.       Read another chapter of Psycho-Cybernetics

8.       Compliment 1 girl

9.       Found something to do during the long weekend

 

I’m not sure if seeing my ex again has put some fire in my pants, but I’m starting to be more proactive and decisive in my dating life. I have 3 different girls I’m actively pursueing. For each one I’m been thinking about my next move and taking action to make it happen. Some of the things I’ve tried have been hit and miss. But I guess it’s just about learning.

 

My sticking point at the moment is creating the opportunity to get us alone and then escalate to a kino.

Mid-Week Update

Last night I got my first phone number for the year. And it was easier than I thought.

 

I started by seeding the idea for heading out for a dance on weekends. Then asked if she was interested in going. “Yeah, of course.....”. She told me to give her a call and I replied with “I would but I don’t have your details.” With that she pulled out some paper and a pen to give me her number.

 

When I got home I proudly put that piece of paper with my other phone number achievements.

 

Next action is to call her (no texting) later on today and seeing if she wants to head out over the weekend.

 

;p

Week 4: Goals

Review Last Week:

 

Last week I managed to complete the SLA Mission “Disagree With Someone”. Also, each day I talked to at least 1 woman.

 

 

Goals

 

·         Give five women spontaneous compliments

·         Give five women I know a compliment

·         Set up a date with a girl I met last Friday, but didn’t get a chance to develop anything over the weekend

·         Listen to David Wygant

·         Read another chapter of Pyscho Cybernetics

·         Find an event for long weekend to do

 

FR: Trouble's Birthday

Last night I got dressed to impress. I put on my freshly cleaned suit, my newly acquired high quality shirt, polished my shoes and put on my best cologne. I was looking and then feeling like a million bucks.

Plans had been made to celebrate my intended target's birthday, at a fancy restaurant. So I decided to treat myself. I had advanced my been made permenant at work with a significant boost in my career. Simply, I wanted to enjoy my new status.

Especially as I had made the decision to escalate things with the birthday girl or possibly her friend.

All night I was confident. I was being charming and flirty.

After dinner I stayed with the group to another high class venue. But my plans all dissolved when we got there. I was catching up with other friends there so I headed over to say hi.

As I got closer I say my ex-girlfriend was sitting at the table.

The same ex who was the catalyst for where I am right now.

I ignored her at first. Trying to concentrate on greeting my friends. Which gave me time to work out how I was going to handle this.

And I then decided that I was NOT going to let it spoil my night.

Smiling I took the higher road and said "Hi, how are you doing?" I continued on with my conversation a little bit more before finding my friend and grabbing a drink.

At the bar my friend, HBGemini kind of apologised for ambushing me. In retrospect, I should of been annoyed. But at the time I was concentrating on how I was going to handle this situation. Which was be myself.

So as I came back from the bar I head over to another friend to talk. She knows about my ex so we had a brief talk about that and then just goofed around.

We had a great conversation. I had my arm around her, laughing and just being me. I was concerned at several times that displaying such affection would be mis constued as if I was trying to impress my ex. But I asked myself "was I? ", but the truth was I was just being congruent with who I am now.

Apparently, my ex saw this and started bitching to HBGemini. But to the wrong person. Which is funny because I know that my ex was looking forward to having a good bitch. But was stopped when she found out that said girl I had my arm around was a good friend of HBGemini.

After a little while HBGemini comes over. Trying to break up the supposedly cozy thing I had going. It worked. Because I think I sensed what was going on. Not that I consciously knew at that point.

We get kicked out not long after arriving. Heading outside to say goodbyes and organise what we were doing next.

I stand there in the group working out how I can make my move on the intended target's for the night. I'm still feeling confident and a million bucks. Especially when I'm complimented by the girls and guys.

We are chatting away and I feel this tug on the back of my suit. Its my ex getting my attention.

She knows I'm not going to make any effort to talk to her. Because she (1) didn't make any effort to be my friend when we split and (2) she is not a person I simply want to converse with.

I be polite and talk to her. I was in my usual great state which I didn't want to lose.

We chat. She asks me how I am doing. I tell her great. I treat her someone in the group who I have just met. Rather than my ex. But make sure I don't brag. Instead let her lead the conversation and answer her questions with honesty.

She has had a bit to drink. Her conversation goes through a loop. Meaning that she tells me the same stuff twice. I laugh at this quietly to myself and carefully work out how much information I am going to share.

Its hard to say what I felt at this point. When I think of her, there is a lot things I would like to say. As you do, wanting to end up in a better position.

But it felt great knowing that I was at my best last night. And that she saw it.

Revenge! A bittersweet victory.

Last time I saw her, I was at a bad place. I just gotten back from Puerto Rico, injury prone, run ragged with my performance group, unkept and emotional crippled. At the time I was wrestling with joining the Stylelife Academy and the social arts.

At the time, I really didn't want her to see me in that state.

Last night she got to see me at my best. Even better than when we went out. Which is funny because it was a year ago that she saw me. One year and even though I don't think I had progressed as well as I wanted, I've come a long fucking way.

So I chat with her as we are walking to the next venue. When the opportunity arises I start talking with my friends again. I make the decision to ignore that fact she is there and be myself.

At the next bar I had fun. Dancing with all the girls. Flirting, teasing, being my confident self.

I take a few moments at times to sit and reflect. Mainly because I'm sweaty from dancing and having fun.

I thought of how I am comfortable being there. Sitting in a club with my friends. Something I've not been at ease with.

Everyone has a phobia. I remember my ex's phobia of spiders. So bad that just the mention or thought of a spiders freaks her out. Mine was being in a loud, crowded venue or event. Basically any situation with groups of people.

This has plagued me for years. Even before 2 months ago its was a slight problem.

Sitting there I realised that I am totally comfortable. I have my friends and having a great time.

I've come along way. And I am proud of that achievement.

My only regret about last night is that I didn't step up my game as I had originally planned. I wanted to make a "call to action" on the birthday girl and one of her friends that I met on Friday. I wanted to take that risk. I was prepared and very determined before heading out my door for the night. I find both girls attractive and I should be acting on those feelings.

I chalked it up to my ex being there. But I realised that is not true. I simply don't know what to do. Making a move on a girl I like in a club is not something I've done. In the past it is the girl that makes the move.

So my next action is to work on isolating. I thought about this on the way home. Reason I didn't make a move was because everyone was there. If I create the situation where its just the two of use, then I'm sure the rest will follow.

Next time I am going to practice isolating my interest which will I think help to escalate things. Take the girl to a discreet place we can enjoy the risk.

Having said that, my major step forward was being quicker to respond to my desires. I usually wait for ages before making a decision but last night I wanted to make things happen. I remember staring in one of the girls last night and having desires to to kiss her. With no concerns for the consquences.

W3: Tue 15 Jan 2008

W3: Tue 15 Jan 2008

Wednesday, 16 January 2008

9:12 AM

Talked to 1 person in grocery store today.

 

Sat in the park to have lunch. While there 2 workmates joined me. So managed to practice being social with these guys.

W3: Mon 16 Jan 2008

W3: Mon 16 Jan 2008

Tuesday, 15 January 2008

9:27 AM

Today I managed to talk to 1 woman today. I can do better. Because I am the type of person who loves talking to woman.

 

I managed to complete my SLA mission of disagreeing with someone. It was actually a lot of fun.

Week 3 - Goals

After finally getting some time and a process in place, I am now ready to begin working on my goals for this year. This week I going to hit all these goals:

• Each day talk to 5 women, for 15 seconds.
• Redo SLA mission “Disagree With Someone”.
• Friday: hit North Sydney. Approach 1 set with “Text Opener”.
• Sat: Go shopping. Walk up to 5 girls who are working, that I find attractive, and say “Hi”.
• Sun: Go shopping. Walk up to 5 girls who are working, that I find attractive, and say “Excuse me, can you help me. I'm having trouble right now I can't find a shirt that fits me. Can you help me pick out a shirt?"

My major aim here is to start getting back into the swing of talking to girls. I’m keen to start hitting the bars again. By the end of last year I was really getting frustrated with heading out. I found it hard. In my mind I was saying that these are not the venues for me to learn to become more social. But I know it not the right thought process. Just my mind trying to stay in that comfort zone. So the plan is to find some bars with a more relaxed and quieter atmosphere. A lounge bar or slow pub. Where there isn’t loud music and heaps of people crowded into a venue. Additionally, this year I am enforcing a new rule. No sarging after 10pm. No easy sloppy conquests. I want to met some quality women.

Welcome to 2008

Ahhh.. its 2008. A brand new year to start with a clean slate. Reach for the heavens and grab myself a star.

 

So many big plans for this year. But it wouldn’t be right to list these until I have a look at the things I achieved in 2007:

 

·         Conversation skills have improved: more focused and in the moment

·         More crowd confident

·         More party confident

·         Improved my career value

·         More social

·         Confident in doing things by myself

·         Made over 50 approaches using an opener

·         Approached close to 200 people

·         Finally noticed when a girl is attraction to me

·         Improved my banter

·         Got 5 # closes

·         Pushed myself out of my comfort zone

·         Increased my salary

·         Finish my first student choreography

·         Purchase my new Trek bike

·         Found a fantastic place to live

·         Studied Aikido

·         Purchased a notebook

 

My major goal for 2007 was to become a great socialiser. I think I’m pretty much on my way. For 2008 I want to push myself further. Reach even greater heights. This year I want meet, attract and pleasure at least 5 women. A modest goal. But an important one to meet my goals for 2009.

 

So my goals for 2008 are (in no particular order):

 

·         Double my investment

·         Become team leader

·         Purchase first bespoke suit

·         Remove wisdom teeth

·         Lose 15kg

·         Improve self image

·         Make 1000 approaches, 100 # closes, 10 Day 2s

·         Meet 5 awesome women

·         Meditate 1/ week

·         Yoga 1/ week

·         Run around bay without stopping

·         Learn to cook 12 recipes

·         Read 10 books

·         Participate in Sydney to Gong bike ride

·         Try 3 adventure sports: kite surfing, drive race/rally car

·         Finish SLA

·         Be fearless in approaching strangers in street

·         Invest in stockmarket

·         Watch opera

·         Watch a play

·         Take 2 holidays (1 local, 1 overseas)

·         Learn all design patterns

·         Learn about refactoring